Holy Humor No.1

Here’s the ultimate list of do’s and don’ts that will have you chuckling all the way to the Holy Land. Buckle up, because we’re about to mix sacred ancient wisdom with a sprinkle of modern-day madness.

  1. Do wear your sunglasses upside down – Because why not start a new fashion trend in the land where miracles happen?
  2. Do practice your camel selfie skills – Because if you don’t post a camel selfie, did you even visit Israel?
  3. Do learn to say “Shalom” in five different accents – Impress locals with your multicultural greeting skills. Bonus points if you sound like a pirate.
  4. Do bring a spoon everywhere – For spontaneous hummus opportunities. You never know when you’ll stumble upon the hummus of your dreams.
  5. Do use Google Maps to find the parting of the Red Sea – Spoiler: It might just lead you to a great beach instead.
  6. Do dress as a superhero on Tuesdays – Just because. Maybe you’ll start a national trend.
  7. Do engage in a serious debate about which falafel stand is the best – It’s the national sport.
  1. Don’t try to walk on water at the Dead Sea – Spoiler: You’ll float, not walk. But pretending to be a human boat is highly encouraged.
  2. Don’t forget to pack your bag with two essentials: sunscreen and jokes – One to protect you from the sun, and the other to break the ice with locals.
  3. Don’t challenge a local to a hummus-making contest – You will lose. But you’ll win at making friends.
  4. Don’t wait for Moses to guide you through the desert – GPS is slightly more reliable these days.
  5. Don’t play hide and seek at the Western Wall – You’re supposed to leave notes, not yourself.
  6. Don’t ask for ice in your wine – Unless you want to witness a genuine look of horror.
  7. Don’t use “Shalom” as an answer to every question – Although it’s funny to see how far you can get with just one word.
  8. And finally, don’t forget to leave room in your suitcase for memories, stories, and maybe a small rock from the desert – Because nothing says “I’ve been to Israel” like a piece of the Holy Land in your living room.

Remember, Israel is a land of history, mystery, and a whole lot of hummus. Follow these do’s and don’ts, and you’re guaranteed to have an unforgettable adventure—filled with laughter, wonder, and maybe a new friend or two (or a camel). Enjoy the ride, and don’t take life too seriously; nobody gets out alive anyway!

See ya in the next post,
Shay
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